Thursday, November 25, 2010

Dancin in the Dark..but, headin for the Light!

Yesterday would have been our 31st wedding anniversary. But, instead of moping around here feeling sad, 2 dear friends, Joan and Jody, suggested we go to the movies. At first I resisted...but, then I thought why not go celebrate! So, I did. Let me tell you, it was adventure for me. It is way out of my comfort zone to travel in places I am unffamiliar with...and the theater was is Sherwood....I rarely go to Sherwood! I thought I had missed my exit and was running late..and left this long rambling voice mail for Joan...(they had their seats by now) ..told them I may be too late for the show...I was gettin a bit angry at myself at this point....but, then, I see a sign for Sherwood and I got all happy again and (still on voice mail) I tell Joan that I will be there in a few minutes! I park my car and run into the theater to get my ticket and find them ( I was already 15 minutes late!)...well, the theater was pitch black!!! I could not see a thing!! So, here I am, peering into the inky darkness looking for my friends...I am all bundled up in a heavy winter coat and scarf..going up the stairs slowly with my hands outstretched in front of me..I thought I was gonna fall! I get to the top of the stairs and I think, "I am gonna have either just stand in the stairway and hope they can see me or go and call Joan again.." but, all of a sudden, I hear.."psst...psst..over hear Coleen"......I was so relieved and wanted to bust out laughing, but, I held it in and settled in to watch the movie...which was fabulous BTW...I highly recommend it!!! After the movie we walked over to Rose's for a bite to eat.....we finally had a chance to chat and giggle over what Jody claimed "Coleens Dance in the Dark"...they could see me as the stairs had lights on them ... Joan listened to my rambling voice mail and we giggled some more! Jody gifted me with a darling necklace that she created using an image of one of faeries...(I will post a picture of it in my next blog, so stay tuned.)

After this adventure my heart felt a bit lighter and I do feel as though I was Dancing in the Dark...but, I am headin for the Light now...thanks to a little help from my friends! I think may want to take some dance lessons....look out I come!

I got this in my email from TUT: Thoughts become things... choose the good ones! ® ©

Do you remember learning to ride your first bike, coleen? How impossible it seemed at first? And how impossible it now is to imagine it was ever hard? Life within the illusions of time and space is like that, too.
First you checked it out from the sidelines, then you dreamed of your own, and the next thing we knew, off came the training wheels and I dutifully, dotingly, and reluctantly let you go while galloping breathless at your side, as you let rip one wicked, "HANDS OFF!!!!!!!"
And so I watch, beaming with pride over your first solo trips. Impressed beyond belief with your courage and determination. Stunned by your natural talent and ambition to grow. Humbled by your willingness to risk a fall. Comforted by knowing that you're exactly where you most wanted to be. And stretching even my own vast mind, as I ponder and contemplate just how far you will go.
Ride on, brave heart - The Universe

Heart Hugs, And Happy ThanksGiving,too!

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

One ThankFul Hand

BRRRRR......its cold!!! My son and I were so excited to watch the snow falling last night and as we were peeking out the window, I had an idea.... So, I pulled on my shoes and jacket and went out into the twilight night and pressed my handprint into the snow that had collected on my car.....then I had the thought to draw a heart around it and write our names,too.....notice the other thing that is there?? looks kinda like an arrow, huh? I swear to you I did not draw it!!!!
Then I drew a heart on the windshield and put our intials inside..I snapped this picture today...I see another heart...can you?
I know LOVE and for that I am truly THANKFUL!!!

Heart Hugs,

Friday, November 19, 2010

One Hand........Connections

I decided to take myself on an "Inner Child Walk" today...I got this idea after listening to this. She calls it Weekly Tea Break and the tape I listened to was "Inner Child Work" I started out taking Taj,my fat lil chihuahua, but, he pooped out on me, so i took him home and headed back out. I found myself walking towards the park where I used to take the kids when they were little. It was raining and the wind was blowing hard. I had to hold onto my umbrella with both hands! I started to feel a little like Mary Poppins! Made me smile at the thought! I heard wind chimes tinkling and some sounding like Gregorian Chimes....very soothingand healing sounds. So, I was thinking, hmmm...maybe my inner coleen was coming out to play...but, all of a sudden memories of me as a young mom and her/my kids running up ahead of me appeared in my minds eye..She/I was saying...."Stop at the crosswalk...look both ways before crossing the street....can we go now?" was so carefree and good. I shifted back into the NOW...starting thinking of my Lar......and saw this cup blowing towards me..out of the corner of my eye , I saw the word KINECT......I kept walking...then, I thought......Kinect? ohhhhhh Connect!! Ofcourse!!! So, I went back and snapped a picture of it...I had to hold it down with my shoe as the wind was blowin it around!

I started down the path leading to the park when I saw a picnic table..this is new I thought, and had the feeling I should go over it....when I saw what someone had inscribed into the table I was stunned......Terry....the lady that made the audio I listened to about the Inner Child Work is Terri....... wow!!! Connections.......they are there, all around us if you just open up to them.....

I went on down the path and the young mom again came into my many times we had come down this path....and looking over at the hill where Lar and I took the kids sledding one snowy was so much fun.....and oh, yeah, there is the tree that Doug fell out of and we had to call an ambulance....the tree is sooo big now!!

I walked on and happened to notice a bit of color on the path...I know it looks like an oil sheen in the picture, but, its really a tiny wisp of fabric......I thought..hmmm....a piece of a fairy dress......I think my inner child had really come out to play!!......connections.......

and then there is this.......double rainbow......a Promise of and everyday...I am connecting with myself and who I am becoming......I am so thankful for all the support and connections I have made thru this blog and facebook and support groups I have attended. Family and friends and customers and collectors.....have stood by me..cheered me on and pulled me up when I am down and help me to keep movin forward. And I will.....I plan on going for many more "Inner Child Walks", if I can only get Taj to go with me...

Heart Hugs,

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

One Hand...moving forward

Anyone that knows me well, knows that I take alot of hand pictures....Lar and I started this way back when...taking pictures of our hands was our "thing", I will continue taking pictures of my hand....its kinda strange not having his along side of mine, but, I can feel him smiling as I move forward..interesting thing about grief is that you cannot grieve, if you did not love.....and I am so blessed that I know love..... I saw this leaf and thought the drops on it looked like tears.....a journey of tears....
I lived in fairy tale world.....where fairies sheltered themselves from the rain under mushrooms...and danced in the moonlight......
but, now, angels are watching over me and dry my tears with their wings.....
this is my youngest sons hand..he still wears his "Live Strong" yellow band..I am so proud of him....he made "Daddy's Pizza" for his birthday..he wanted to make it himself...and it was delicious!!
So, we are moving forward and celebrating.......I have so much to be grateful for!!

Heart Hugs,