One Heart...Becoming Whole in 2011

Can you see the heart in this shell? My SIL gave this to me..she found it on the beach like this..I will cherish it forever. The Heart was made by nature..not man-made. Which I now understand that the holes in our heart are part of the lessons we learn in this journey called LIFE. The year 2010 was a rough one to be sure....this was the year a HUGE Hole took up residence in my heart...As I look back on the year in my minds eye beginning with January......things were not good and only got worse as the pages flipped on the calendar... but, I am also finding things to be grateful for as well....so many friends have remained by my side and listened to my broken heart weep...I realize now how hard it was for them to hear my sorrow...so I remain truly thankful for the gift of friendship...I did not realize how many friends I really have...I met some new friends in a class I took..especially a fabulous lady named Carol...she has been a lifeline to me and has helped me more than she could ever know....some friends I have not even met in person...people have reached out to me thru my blog and on Facebook,too......and so many,many customers from the Portland area and Spokane and Pasco and across the US...have sent me cards, emails and even called me on the phone ....sending me so much LOVE....I am Truly Blessed and Humbled by the out pouring of Love and Concern....

I am working on this one..Brave Heart......I do have fears, but, I am overcoming them one by one...I am Truly Blessed!

My friends have taught me that having a Listening Heart is such a gift.....I pray I do the same in return for them....I have spent hours on the phone with a few of them..and just recently, my neighbor, Sandy, and I have been chatting more and even decided we would start walking together.... she has lived across the street from me for 30 yrs...and we are just now getting to know each other...I am Truly Blessed!!!

Having my friends listen to me has helped my heart become more and more peaceful.....

and hopefully, with a peaceful heart...I will get back to creating ..to me, creating my faeries and collages . wrist cuffs ...birdies and cottages....is so magical...I go off to LA-La Land...(as my kids say!!!)...but, it is very healing for me....

and what I am putting out into the Universe for 2011 is to have an Authentic Heart...because to me being authentic and true to yourself is having a heart of...

LOVE

So, as the last day of this year slips into a new one, I am praying for new adventures and DISCOVERY of who I AM.....and that the hole in my heart heals...

and right now, I am off to go shopping with my friend Debbie!!! I am truly blessed!!!!


HEART HUGS,

One Hand - finding my heart

I went to the beach with my sis thinking it would be just a fun "sister time" and re-connecting. It was that and oh so much more...I found my heart... some insight into myself. We were walking along the oceans edge when I told her that I liked to look for "heart rocks" and no sooner were the words outta my mouth she says...you mean like this? and hands me the heart rock...and our adventure began....

We clammered over slippery rocks to gt a closer look at the starfish that was clinging to the side of Haystack Rock in Cannon Beach. Usually, my Lar would lead me over rocky or difficult areas we were walking on..holding my hand or saying "step here".."there is a flat rock over there"...or reaching his strong hand out out to help me over a rough area ..such a true "gentle man"....this time, I did it on my own..found my own steps among the rocks......oh, I did pray for Lar to guide me, I must admit that, but, I made it! I only slipped once and caught myself on a barnacle covered rock.. got a tiny cut...but, I did think, on my, don't do that again!! Those shells are razor sharp!

What if our religion was each other.....If our practice was our life......If prayer our words ...What if the temple was the Earth.......If forests were our place of worship...If ritual objects - the rivers, lakes, and ocean.......What if meditation was our relationship......If the teacher was life.......If wisdom was self-knowledge.....If love was the center of our being- Ganga White

I am doing the "Hang Loose" sign that Lar would do alot ...so I was thinking of him very strongly in this picture.....

The sky was ever so much more beautiful than I could ever capture in the above picture...I think God got out His paint brush to show me that life is a masterpiece and we put the brush strokes on our journey thru life..its up to us what colors we choose...and how we paint our lifes story... discovering more and more colors and adventures.

Me....I am kinda leaning towards Amber and Teal these days...oh, throw in some Magenta,too!!! Hard to choose just one!!

HEART HUGS,

Dancin in the Dark..but, headin for the Light!

Yesterday would have been our 31st wedding anniversary. But, instead of moping around here feeling sad, 2 dear friends, Joan and Jody, suggested we go to the movies. At first I resisted...but, then I thought why not go celebrate! So, I did. Let me tell you, it was adventure for me. It is way out of my comfort zone to travel in places I am unffamiliar with...and the theater was is Sherwood....I rarely go to Sherwood! I thought I had missed my exit and was running late..and left this long rambling voice mail for Joan...(they had their seats by now) ..told them I may be too late for the show...I was gettin a bit angry at myself at this point....but, then, I see a sign for Sherwood and I got all happy again and (still on voice mail) I tell Joan that I will be there in a few minutes! I park my car and run into the theater to get my ticket and find them ( I was already 15 minutes late!)...well, the theater was pitch black!!! I could not see a thing!! So, here I am, peering into the inky darkness looking for my friends...I am all bundled up in a heavy winter coat and scarf..going up the stairs slowly with my hands outstretched in front of me..I thought I was gonna fall! I get to the top of the stairs and I think, "I am gonna have either just stand in the stairway and hope they can see me or go and call Joan again.." but, all of a sudden, I hear.."psst...psst..over hear Coleen"......I was so relieved and wanted to bust out laughing, but, I held it in and settled in to watch the movie...which was fabulous BTW...I highly recommend it!!! After the movie we walked over to Rose's for a bite to eat.....we finally had a chance to chat and giggle over what Jody claimed "Coleens Dance in the Dark"...they could see me as the stairs had lights on them ... Joan listened to my rambling voice mail and we giggled some more! Jody gifted me with a darling necklace that she created using an image of one of faeries...(I will post a picture of it in my next blog, so stay tuned.)

After this adventure my heart felt a bit lighter and I do feel as though I was Dancing in the Dark...but, I am headin for the Light now...thanks to a little help from my friends! I think may want to take some dance lessons....look out world..here I come!

I got this in my email from TUT: Thoughts become things... choose the good ones! ® ©

Do you remember learning to ride your first bike, coleen? How impossible it seemed at first? And how impossible it now is to imagine it was ever hard? Life within the illusions of time and space is like that, too.
First you checked it out from the sidelines, then you dreamed of your own, and the next thing we knew, off came the training wheels and I dutifully, dotingly, and reluctantly let you go while galloping breathless at your side, as you let rip one wicked, "HANDS OFF!!!!!!!"
And so I watch, beaming with pride over your first solo trips. Impressed beyond belief with your courage and determination. Stunned by your natural talent and ambition to grow. Humbled by your willingness to risk a fall. Comforted by knowing that you're exactly where you most wanted to be. And stretching even my own vast mind, as I ponder and contemplate just how far you will go.
Ride on, brave heart - The Universe


Heart Hugs, And Happy ThanksGiving,too!

One ThankFul Hand

BRRRRR......its cold!!! My son and I were so excited to watch the snow falling last night and as we were peeking out the window, I had an idea.... So, I pulled on my shoes and jacket and went out into the twilight night and pressed my handprint into the snow that had collected on my car.....then I had the thought to draw a heart around it and write our names,too.....notice the other thing that is there?? looks kinda like an arrow, huh? I swear to you I did not draw it!!!!

Then I drew a heart on the windshield and put our intials inside..I snapped this picture today...I see another heart...can you?

I know LOVE and for that I am truly THANKFUL!!!

Heart Hugs,

One Hand........Connections

I decided to take myself on an "Inner Child Walk" today...I got this idea after listening to this. She calls it Weekly Tea Break and the tape I listened to was "Inner Child Work" I started out taking Taj,my fat lil chihuahua, but, he pooped out on me, so i took him home and headed back out. I found myself walking towards the park where I used to take the kids when they were little. It was raining and the wind was blowing hard. I had to hold onto my umbrella with both hands! I started to feel a little like Mary Poppins! Made me smile at the thought! I heard wind chimes tinkling and some sounding like Gregorian Chimes....very soothingand healing sounds. So, I was thinking, hmmm...maybe my inner coleen was coming out to play...but, all of a sudden memories of me as a young mom and her/my kids running up ahead of me appeared in my minds eye..She/I was saying...."Stop at the crosswalk...look both ways before crossing the street....can we go now?" Ahh..life was so carefree and good. I shifted back into the NOW...starting thinking of my Lar......and saw this cup blowing towards me..out of the corner of my eye , I saw the word KINECT......I kept walking...then, I thought......Kinect? ohhhhhh Connect!! Ofcourse!!! So, I went back and snapped a picture of it...I had to hold it down with my shoe as the wind was blowin it around!

I started down the path leading to the park when I saw a picnic table..this is new I thought, and had the feeling I should go over it....when I saw what someone had inscribed into the table I was stunned......Terry....the lady that made the audio I listened to about the Inner Child Work is Terri....... wow!!! Connections.......they are there, all around us if you just open up to them.....

I went on down the path and the young mom again came into my memories.....how many times we had come down this path....and looking over at the hill where Lar and I took the kids sledding one snowy day....it was so much fun.....and oh, yeah, there is the tree that Doug fell out of and we had to call an ambulance....the tree is sooo big now!!

I walked on and happened to notice a bit of color on the path...I know it looks like an oil sheen in the picture, but, its really a tiny wisp of fabric......I thought..hmmm....a piece of a fairy dress......I think my inner child had really come out to play!!......connections.......

and then there is this.......double rainbow......a Promise of Connections......today and everyday...I am connecting with myself and who I am becoming......I am so thankful for all the support and connections I have made thru this blog and facebook and support groups I have attended. Family and friends and customers and collectors.....have stood by me..cheered me on and pulled me up when I am down and help me to keep movin forward. And I will.....I plan on going for many more "Inner Child Walks"......now, if I can only get Taj to go with me...


Heart Hugs,

One Hand...moving forward

Anyone that knows me well, knows that I take alot of hand pictures....Lar and I started this way back when...taking pictures of our hands together....it was our "thing"...so, I will continue taking pictures of my hand....its kinda strange not having his along side of mine, but, I can feel him smiling as I move forward..interesting thing about grief is that you cannot grieve, if you did not love.....and I am so blessed that I know love..... I saw this leaf and thought the drops on it looked like tears.....a journey of tears....

I lived in fairy tale world.....where fairies sheltered themselves from the rain under mushrooms...and danced in the moonlight......

but, now, angels are watching over me and dry my tears with their wings.....

this is my youngest sons hand..he still wears his "Live Strong" yellow band..I am so proud of him....he made "Daddy's Pizza" for his birthday..he wanted to make it himself...and it was delicious!!

So, we are moving forward and celebrating.......I have so much to be grateful for!!

Heart Hugs,

Coleen

Faithful and Loyal to the end

This is Lobo...she has been with our family for around 15 years. Today, she joined my Lar...I just know that he was calling to her as she crossed over..I can just hear him saying "Hobo, Hobo, Hobo...Hows my Lobo"....She would always great us at the door wagging her tail...that is until the last few years....she had what is called "doggie dementia"... she would act like she did not know where she was or what she was doing...mostly blind, could hardly stand up...you can see it in her face...I took this picture yesterday..... She was a good and faithful doggie........we all miss her so much already.

Heart Hugs,

Angel Friends

I took these pictures in my backyard yesterday ... and I got to thinking about Angels......I know they are here guiding me and you....seen and unseen. I just had to have this lil saying when I saw it at the garden store....it speaks volumes to me

this a quote I recieved in my email this morning really touched my heart:

True friendship is at the core of any happy life. If our family is our root system, our friends are our fellow branches. We're all striving together, supporting one another, providing shade and comfort.~ Addie Johnson

I am blessed to say that my friendship branches are growing...some have been there a long while and some are just starting to sprout and grow...some broke off and some are growing back...

Thank you for hanging in there my Earth Angel Friends...



Heart Hugs,

,

Gifts from Her Heart

I met a new friend in Blogland....Griselda. What a beautiful name! Her timing was perfect when she reached out to me...then, she sent me these wonder-filled gifts...she said they were "seeds of creativity"...a nudge to get me creating again...and believing in me. Just look at these fabulous faces she sculpts..they are beads!...

and all this gorgeous fabric....love the colors!!

wings.......ofcourse......she knew exactly what I needed...wings to lift my spirit

and these wee dolly dress are so dear......they may get altered,tho!!!

here is her card..blogger flipped it sideways..I tried to turn it... anyway, I hope you visit her blog and web site !

and last, but not least..this is one of the most beautiful Spirit Dolls I have laid my eyes on..my pictures do not do it justice..she made this with such love ...you can feel it...I will cherish this and your kindness forever Dear One!

HeartHugs,

Who do you know that has a Faithful Heart?

My heart has been Faithfully waiting for me to get back to creating...My Lar said this is part of "who I AM"...and creating these wrist cuffs have truly been a very healing time for me as well...thinking about the heart message that will go inside every cuff encourages me to realize how very fortunate I am to really know how it felt and still feels to have been so loved for over 30 yrs.

these delightful one of a kind cuffs have a secret message for you or a loved one on the inside ..the message on this one is "Faithful Heart"....HandMade wearable art inspired by Romance, Victorian , and even a little SteamPunk!! It begins with a srumptious velvet base and adorned with old lace, vintage rhinestones, buttons and trims...Will arrive snuggled inside its own little treasure box, hand painted by me. This one and more can be found in my Etsy Shop.

HEART HUGS,